The Hill of Crosses...

This past weekend I took two of my girls on a trip to Lithuania to see The Hill of Crosses!!! It was such a great trip and absolutely amazing to see the hill full of crosses put there by thousands and thousands of people!!!
This trip was just a special trip for the girls because I will not be able to be around as much as I would like to during the summer due to the crazy schedule of camps and out reaches and all the teams coming and going, so this was their special weekend… and did we have a good time!
We left in the evening on Friday and chilled in a town close to the crosses and when shopping and ate dinner, then drove to a beach town, and then back to the town by the hill of crosses, found a good piece of land to park the car, slept for a few hours, then up and ready to go see the crosses!!! It was really hot! But beautiful!
Then we drove around Lithuania a little bit more just for fun! Here are a few pictures of that trip.


To see more pictures click here

Where have I been!

It has been a while since I have been able to update you on the happenings around here. And for that I am sorry.
I left you as I was on my way to Sweden for a lovely reminiscing time with Susan. And that it was! The weather was great and the people were even better. One of our friends from our year also came to visit at the same time from Germany. Sweden is so beautiful around this time of year and we definitely took in as much as we could!

Here are a few pictures:


After the plane ride Me:TRYING to look cool Sooz:lookin cute!


A wonderful Fika with Wally and Donna Life time Friends

Hot! don't you think?


Had a little problems with our camp fire!!! hahah!!!
Click here for more pictures of my trip to Sweden

Summer has hit!
Yesterday was 32 degrees (around 85 Degrees Fahrenheit) with about 90 percent humidity!!! Haaaa breathe deep! ;D

But more than the weather I am realizing how much time I will NOT have in the next few months. I have missed my monthly update for may… the first time I have not been able to update since I have come to Latvia. My commitment is to not make that a habit, I promise! I am sorry to anyone who has been waiting for it.

We have been spending a lot of time working on scheduling and preparing material for all the aspects of the summer in the past few weeks. It has been a lot of work, but also gets me very excited to “get the party started”, so to speak! (I know I am a retard!)
But truly I am so stoked about the camps, the Interns, the American high school teams, and of course the Latvian teens that will be involved this summer!!! This is such a sweet way to live life! Let me tell you!

Personally and spiritually it has been quite bumpy if I am honest. I have had some really amazing breakthroughs and some really amazing time with my Jesus in the past few weeks, but there have also been some pretty low times also. I have been struggling through an area of my spiritual life that need a major transformation.

UnBeLiEf
These are the thoughts that go through my head daily:

“God is not really good”
“God is not able”
“God will not answer”
“God will not come through on this one”
“It can happen for others, but not for me”

I know that Jesus is with me, but I don’t believe it.
I know that Jesus loves me, but I don’t believe it.
I know that Jesus is my protector, but I don’t believe that he will.
I know that Jesus is my provider, but I don’t believe he will, or if he does it will be in a way I don’t want!

I am realizing the major pain it causes me and those around me, and especially my Jesus when I live only in the knowledge of Him and not in the full belief of who he says he is and what he says he will do!
I find myself wanting to delete this as I write it because I am sitting here in Latvia as a missionary telling you that I don’t believe in God! How can that be?
But I do believe that if anyone really stepped back and looked at life and life with God all could agree with me that IT IS A FIGHT TO BELIEVE GOD!

So I am taking steps to push myself to experience him in whom he says he is. That is that hard part though, and very scary for me at time, and definitely lonely at times. But even as I write this there have been break throughs and experiences with Him that bring so much joy to my heart I cannot stop smiling as I write this!

So that is a little about me.

About the next three months… I would love to promise consistent updates, but I cannot as I already see me time running away from me. But I do promise to try my best to keep you as involved as possible with the ministry this summer through this blog.
In a few days I will be posting a schedule and some things about the summer you can be praying for.

Please e-mail me anytime if you want to know more, or just leave a comment as my dear friend Danielle did on the last post, reminding me that people actually do read this!
;) Thanks D.
Thanks for taking the time!
Thank you for your love and support!

gone for a week...

Biggest apologies for not writing sooner.

The conference was amazing and Jesus met me there in a way that I can only begin to explain because words will not give any credit to the experience I had with him there.
All I can say is that it is a beautiful thing that God does not quit on the transforming process in all of us!
“He who began a good work will be faithful to complete it!”
Amen? AMEN!

So my best friend from Canada arrived a few days ago and will be here with me for the whole summer, which is more than a blessing. I have longed for a friend to share some of this stuff face to face with and the Lord is GOOD, and has met that longing!
I met Susan in Sweden a few year back at Bible School, and since then we have had the blessing of having a friendship that is like no other. There is just something very beautiful about complete transparency and that is what we have!

That being said I am leaving today for Sweden for 5 days with Susan. This is just a time for us to go back to where God had touched both of us in huge ways and just reminisce of the “Holsby Dayz”.

So I will be back in Latvia on Saturday evening and then it gets CrAzY busy!!!! So I am blessed to have this time, (the calm before the storm) to just be still before the Lord and be filled with more of him.

Thanks for checking in. I hope to update as soon as I get back on Saturday.

Miss you all dearly!

I made it to Czech!

I am now at the conference in Czech Republic. This is our annual family conference for JV. It is beautiful here!!! I will post pictures next entry.

This conference has been great so far, just reflecting on life and transformation is effecting me deeply and realizing the power of Christ to transform me in ways that I never thought possible!!! This is probably not new for most of you and honestly for me it is not either, yet it is touching me in a brand new way!!! Jesus is like that I think!!!
But way cool!!!

I will update again soon (I hope)

In Poland...

I am in Poland, chillin at Susan Ellis’ flat. Later tonight we will meet us with a group of single missionaries from JV -Josiah Venture (my mission organization). We will spend the first 24 hours of the Spring conference together at H2O, at camp ground just purchased by the Poland team for there ministry here in Poland! It is a great camp ground and is amazing for the youth ministry that will be done there… but it needs some work, and so along with getting crazy and hanging out with the “cool people” of JV… we will spend some time working on the grounds.

I think it will be a good time for sure!


I have only been in Poland for two days now and the Lord has hit my heart with so many things that I cannot even try to explain them all in words. You know those times when the Lord speaks to you, to you inner being, to the core of who you are, and you understand in the depths of your heart what he is communicating to you, yet to try and translate that holy word in human words just sounds so empty and nothing compared to what you have just experienced? Well this is one of those times! I have been intimately connected with my Jesus these few days, and I have so many wild and I dare to say, scandalize thoughts of what the Lord has planned for Latvia and the world, and how he has chosen someone as messed up as me to be used to accomplish a little piece of it, humbles me, excites me, and makes me fall in love with him intensely!

Being with Susan, a single female missionary here in Poland for the past 10 years has been more than a blessing. To see her in the middle of ministry and in the middle of living out life and love with her Jesus has touched me and encouraged me in a way I never thought possible. She is such a model of what I could only hope to be in the future of my ministry with my Jesus! She is undeniably Full of Christ and the joy of serving him!
We have talked about so many things that have just encouraged me and helped me regain a focus that is so easily stolen by the trails of life and living in a culture not your own.

All I can say is that so far through my time with Susan and especially my time with My Jesus thus far has opened the eyes of my heart to a clearer and brighter eye to the perspective of God!

We see so little, we think so small, our focus gets so narrow, it is only when the Lord allows us to experience the mystery of Him that we are able to start seeing through His eyes, His heart and His perspective!
I am filled with wonder as I look out into the world and unknown seeing with eyes and heart through Him!
How exciting it is to be a follower of Christ!

Here are some pictures of the view from Susan's apartment:

Travelin'

I am off to Czech republic and Poland for a week. I know it has been a while since I write last.
Things have been going really well, and actually I have had a little “break” kind of the “calm before the storm”. It has been great to just spend time at the new apartment getting it organized and furnished. So not much ministry going on, other than the usual everyday stuff. But even that has slowed down a bit in the past weeks. I am not complaining though!!

As I said I am heading to Czech for our annual Spring Conference at the main head quarters in Czech. This is a conference where all of the missionaries from around Eastern Europe come together with their families and have a week of renewal and refreshing, fellowship and time with our Jesus. It will be good, this I know! Please pray that I will have an open heart to what the Lord has planned to speak to me heart.

A few days after I return home from that the summer begins!!! In full force!! Major planning and organization will be underway and I don’t think I will be coming up for a breath until the end of august! Which I am totally stoked about! I love summer ministry and just being with youth, so this will be a great time for me!

One of my best friends, Susan Paterson comes to Latvia on May 9th to come along side me and help me with the whole summer ministry, which is more than a blessing because she is a dear friend, and she is blessed with the spiritual gift of administration!!!! Just the spiritual gift I could never imagine in a hundred years having (or wanting!).

We also have a small but amazing team of interns coming and I am sooo stoked to be able to lead them into this summer of unknowns, relying on Christ himself to meet us!

Oh there is sooo much to say about the summer, but I will wait for the next entry.

In 6 hours I will get in a van with Scott, Lisa, Paul, and the four Runzo kids and set out for a 16-hour journey through Eastern Europe on our way to Czech! Pray for me! Pray for us!

...It will be….

…You finish it! ;)

Quick update...

Well, there is so much to talk about but I have no time! I am babysitting all four of the Runzo’s kids, a dog, cat and turtle, while they are in Chicago.
But the past week has been great and full of good things…
I spent the Easter Weekend with some of the orphanage girls at my new apartment… which was crazy fun, but tiring also ;)
We had a great time and some great talks as well!

check out the pictures here

Easter was quite cold here, and I found myself missing “home” and the feelings of spring, and just the Easter season… you all know what I mean!

Anyway I will be finished watching the kids on Monday, so I hope to have an update letter out by then…

Thank you for checking in… e-mail me if you want! I would love to hear from you… and I am not just saying that!!!

I miss you all!

Do I have a story for you...

Get ready!! It is a long one...but sooo goood!

Last entry was the beginning of a series of event that looking back have absolutely blown my mind about how flippin’ cool of a God I serve!

I left you on Tuesday night I think.

On the evening I started packing up the apartment because I knew I would be moving the next day. The landlord even came by and said the apartment I had been waiting for 3 months to get remodeled was all but done…just wallpaper to do! He said I could move in tomorrow! So it was a “for sure” thing…or at least I thought it was!!!

Lelde and I decided it would be best to go and speak with the landlord and talk about making a contract (the advice we took after every person I talked to about this situation said it was a necessity). We decided to meet at the apartment to check it out and see how it looked after the remodel. (I have to say I was a bit excited, knowing it had been three months…they must have done some really good work!)

Wednesday evening I met Lelde and we walked to the apartment to meet our “new landlord” to talk “business”. When I met Lelde, she said that the landlord called and asked if we could help wallpaper.

Hmmm….

Well that would have been nice to know a bout an hour ago BEFORE I left the other apartment in normal clothes!!! Oh, well… whatever helps us get in there faster, were my thoughts.
We walked up the stairs and knocked on the door of our “new apartment” hearing that they were working inside we just let ourselves in…and to our CoMpLeTe AmAzMeNt…nothing was done! It looked just as bad as when we saw it last, actually a bit worse as now there was an inch layer of white dust over EVERYTHING and the kitchen was completely torn up…no cabinets, no stove, actually nothing but a old dirty sink that they were using for the work. And this is what I am supposed to move into in less than 24hours!

2nd Hmmmm….

I took a deeeeeep breath and said, I can do this… it is not that bad, and once I am in here I can help them when I am at “home”, and then it will go faster. On that note we jumped right into helping them wallpaper the room I would be living in. They had two sheets already put up, which meant after about fifteen more, and two and a half hours later the wallpaper was up! “All” that was left was a sanding of the floor, sealing it and putting the overcoat on top, then painting the wallpaper… then ONE ROOM out of the three, not including the bathroom and kitchen was complete… this needing to be done a dry by the time I move in the next day, and at that time it was about 10pm!

3rd Hmmmm….

After finishing helping with the application of my beautiful textured wallpaper we went down to the landlords apartment to “talk business”.

That’s when things got kinda “sticky-weird”!

The minute I said “contract” the mood changed, the landlord said that he had other people who already said they would pay more, but since we had been waiting so long and since he had promised us the apartment he would let us still rent from him, but he did not want to sign a “legal” contract because then he would have to pay taxes… and he said if we wanted a legal contract out rent would go up 20%...

4th Hmmm…

Then we talked about utilities, he said it would be about 70ls to 80ls for all the utilities. That is about $160 dollars! This was weird to me because I had just come from the other place I was looking at before (when I thought I had lost this apartment) and the landlord there said that utilities would be around 25ls at the most 35ls. (on the really cold winter days for heating) That is about $60! That was a BIG difference for two apartments that were close to the same size….

5th Hmmm…..

The landlord also said that they would fully furnish the apartment including beds. Since I would be moving in tomorrow I thought I should at least ask about the beds (even though I knew that nothing else was there yet!) then the wife took us into a room where there was an old wooden bunk bed, she went on to tell us that they were planning on cutting the bunk bed in half and Lelde could have one and I the other! This was almost comical because I am 6ft tall and had a pretty good idea that I would not fit on that bed anyway. I told her that it was not necessary for her to cut the beds, because I would not fit, and I would prefer to purchase a bed that I could sleep comfortably on… she said, “none sense, try the bed!’ so I laid down and let her see my life long dilemma of not fitting on beds with railings! She dropped the issue.

6th Hmmm….

After our very insightful “business talk” we left to walk to the bus stop. I was quiet. Lelde was quiet. Krista (one of the orphanage girls, who came with us) was quiet. I was not feeling very sure, but decided to ignore those feelings because I was in desperate need of a place to live, because no matter what I was to be out of the other place tomorrow!

We got on the bus and I looked at Lelde wondering how she felt since she understood 100% of the conversation and I only about 50% (due to my lack of understanding Latvian!) Even though she said she was ok, and she thought it would be ok, she was not very reassuring.
Then this overwhelming feeling came over me and I knew that this place was not the place, no matter how desperate I was. I asked Lelde if she could call back that guy from the other apartment we looked at a few days ago (when we thought we had lost this apartment), she got this BIG smile on her face and asked if I was serious. We talked through my concerns and she completely agreed! Yet is was already 10pm so we could not call the guy that night, so before parting ways we agreed that we would spend that night in prayer to our Jesus for guidance and direction.

After the long walk home, I was certain that I would not be living in the apartment I had waited so long for. I had nowhere to go, and had complete peace! I knew that the Lord knows my stubbornness and he took me through all of these things, all of these “hmmm’s” in order for me to see that this is not the place for me!

When I got to the apartment I would spend one more night in, I could not stop smiling! I called Paul Levenda and told him the whole story and he confirmed and assured me that this was obviously not the right place for me. Then I asked him if I could not find anything within the next day, if I could bum a room off of him for few days until I found something. He said of course! (Since 80% of my belongings have been sitting in his house for 5 months!) ha ha ha!

Got to work the next morning and had Latvian Language and then came back to the office, Lelde was in the office, so we sat down and took a deep breath ad called that guy from the other apartment. I really did not have high hopes knowing that it was a great apartment in a great location at a great price.
5 minutes later we had a meeting to meet him in an hour and give him fist and last months rent, sign A LEGAL contract, and move in!
And we did just that!

AHHHHH! Who was right in the middle of this? Who was in control the whole time? Who was patient and just loved me through the doubts, through the confusion, through the unbelief and lack of trust in Him?
THIS is the flippin’ cool God I serve, that loves me and is right beside me, even when I feel like he is not taking care of me!

Since this is turning into a book I will finish…

Short end to the story:

I have an apartment!
A great apartment!
With a great landlord!
In a great location!
With a great price!

PRAISE JESUS!!!!

Thank you all for your prayers during this long and trying process. Thank you for walking through this with me.
I have learned more about God through this than I could have if this was easy. So now (in a small way) I can see what Paul says, “…consider it pure joy when facing trials of many kinds…”

Experiencing God and living in intimacy with Him is worth ANYTHING this world can throw at us!

Thank you family…

So.......

I have packed up and I am planning on moving to the new apartment tomorrow!!! Yet, there is still this unsure-ness (not a word, I know!) in my heart, like something is going to happen in the next day… but if so, I am prepared to use the situation to glorify my Lord!!!

So if all goes as planned I will be out of this apartment and in a new one, but that also means I probably will not have internet access for a while, which means that I will not be able to keep up communication like I would like to.
So if there is a big gap of nothingness on my blog you will know why!!!

Plans for the next few days:
Today: Pack
Tomorrow: Latvian lessons, move to apartment, Youth night at church
Friday - Sunday: Go to the orphanage, teach English
Monday: Work, unpack and set up apartment

(Monday I should be able to give an update)

Thanks for chekin’ in!

Es esmu pati labaka sievite uz zemes virsas.netici? paprasi man…hahaha

Prayer update

First I want to thank all of you for your prayers! From the moment I sent that request I was filled with the Joy of the body of Christ! I was taken back by the encouraging words, by the compassion, and the similar situation many of you have gone through during your own personal journeys with our Jesus!

As of right now this is what is happening concerning the apartment situation…

After telling the Landlord that we would be looking for another place due to the current news of sharing the apartment with someone I do not know, I went out searching! Many of my dear friends here came along side me and helped me look for places and gave me numbers to call of people who could help. By the next day I was already looking at an apartment!
While at that apartment, I received information about the other apartment. The Landlord said that they have found another place for that other person to live so I don’t have to open up the apartment for the use of my toilet, kitchen, etc.
They also said they would like us to still rent from them if we were still interested.

The apartment we were just looking at was good too… so now I was sitting with more than enough options instead of nothing!!!

So, the decision so far is, I will wait until April 1st and hopefully move into the original apartment!!!

There are some hesitation just because of the way it has played out so far, but I will again trust in the Lord to handle it!!

I have learned so much through this! Looking back at the desperation and lack f faith I had almost makes me blush!!! I have said over and over again to the Lord, “do what you want with me.” And this is how I respond!! yeah, I got some major growin’ to do!

Thank you for loving me, speaking truth to me, telling me to suck it up, but more than anything thank you for your love! I have felt it throughout this time, and all I can say is you bless me!

I will update again as I get more information.

I need Prayer!

Yesterday I woke up for work ready to take on the world…by the end of the day all I wanted to do was cry like a little baby, quit…go back to America!

What happen you may ask?

Well as many of you know I have been looking for an apartment since I arrived over 5 months ago, after two months of looking I thought I found one, all we had to do is wait for the remodel to be finished (which was stated to be complete within a few weeks)…

… 3 months later…

Still waiting, but knowing I will have a place to live soon!

Then yesterday…

I lost the apartment! It is quite a long story of how and why, but the short end is that there was a girl who was going to live above us in this new apartment, but it was only a room…no water, no bathroom, kitchen, washing machine, and word got out that we were expected to allow her to have free use of all of our toilet, bathroom, kitchen and washing machine! First I thought this was a joke, but as we soon found out it was not!

They never told us this while we were waiting to move in. we called the landlord and asked if this was indeed correct, and she said it was and there in nothing really they can do about it! Hmmm.

Well I am sooo desperate to finally unpack my life from all the bags and boxes it has been in for the past 5 month, I was not really caring about the situation…BUT my team was! Scott, Lisa, and Liva all were very animate that this was not right and I shouldn’t live there with that situation. And this opinion was not just from them but every person who heard about it thought it was absolutely weird!

So after crying for about an hour or two, I have begun to search yet again for an apartment!!! I am back at square one! After 3 months of waiting, and anticipating…now this…again!

I am trying to see Jesus in this, but I am not going to lie and say that I understand this or am ok with it…
I am hurt, because my Jesus has allowed this. I am confused at why, and I don’t know if I will get an answer.

But one thing I do trust in is that no matter the situation or how I feel, I am deeply loved by Jesus, and he will provide.
He has a plan in this that I cannot see, and His ways are above mine. He is and will do something in this and that is exciting to be apart of!
My joy returns in the moments that I think about Him and his sovereign plan in all of this… but I am finding it hard to keep that focus right now… can you please pray?

They are all grown up!!!

I returned home from the orphanage on Saturday night this trip was quite different as I was not able to teach English at all! I arrived too late in the evening on Friday to teach the director and the teachers, and on Saturday I was privileged to be a part of celebrating Kitija and Krista’s 18th birthday in Saldus (the larger town next to the town where the orphanage is).

It was a great time to say the least! Endija, their older sister, and Sintija, Santa, and I got up at 5am and snuck into their rooms and tied the up… Kitija was first, and we did well at not waking her up! And then we tried to do the same to Krista, but she woke up so we POUNCED! Held her down and used plastic wrap to fasten her to her bed!!!
Then we went back into Kitija’s room to see that she was waking up… so we POUNCED again!!!! And tied her up GOOD!!!
Here are some pictures:






























Then later that day we went to Saldus to celebrate at a pizza place…little did they know what I had planned ;)
A birthday party is not complete without some sort of embarrassment…right? Sooo… this is what I did!












They had a great time and so did everyone watching!!! A good day and memories to match!

(Click the photo for the full slide show)

Real Quick...

I am finally going to the orphanage this weekekend... have not been there in a bout a month. two of my girls (the twins) are turning 18!!! ahhh!!! we will celebrate this weekend! (fun pictures to come!)

I am also waiting to here about when i can move to my new apartment... I am about to go crazy living out of bags, and not knowing where 3/4 of my stuff is!!! pray for me to have patience and shine Christ and not my fleshy frustration!!! please!!

Emotionally i am not doing so well! It started last night after a great chat with the fam (webcam style) This was the first time i have seen my family since i left. I thought i would be ok, and I actaully was and had a wonderful talk and great to see me neice and nephew, sister, and parents...
Got off the phone and was really happy...about an hour later i could not find the strength to smile! I have been quite down ever since. I just want to find a corner in this world where no one can find me and just cry!!! I think something big is going on in my heart and it is hard to explain, but it is deeper than missing "home".

please pray. thank you.

What happend in Rome...

After a LONG flight home, I finally arrived in Riga at 3am this morning! But praise God we arrived safe and sound, as we had to wait over and over again at the airport in Amsterdam because of “technical difficulties”! That is always such a nice way of putting it, don’t you think?

Anyway, this trip was more than beautiful for my whole being! Mind, body, and especially spirit! If any of you have been reading my updates or have spoken with me in the past months you could be sure to know that I have been struggling quite a bit. My spirit has just been a little down since I arrived here in Latvia. Not that I have had a terrible time so far. Not that I haven’t seen the Lord working here and in me. Not that I am second-guessing this calling.
I have just been felling different than ever before since I have come here for the “long term”. There have been many close friends and family of mine that have commented on my mood. How I am just “not my self” and I am “different”. All of what has made me quite uneasy about how I am handling this transition and this call of “missionary”, wondering if I am cut out for this, wondering if someone else should be here instead.

Jesus is SO GOOD TO ME!!!! I met with 35 women from all over Eastern Europe, who are also in full time missions, and who are my sisters in JV, and about half of those were SINGLE women!!!! And I got to talk to so many of them, ask them all the questions that I had about this crazy world that I just entered, and had some questions answered that I didn’t even know to ask!

One of which came on the last night together and I was talking to two singles that have been on the field for 2 to 3 years, Christina and Anna. We were just talking and Christina asked how long I had been in Latvia. I told her that I had been there for a little over 4 months. She just sighed (in unison with Anna!) and said, oh so you are not doing so good are you? And I just stood there in wonder. How did she know? So I asked what does she mean and she just said that looking back that part of her time in her new country was the hardest time of her life, and looking back she cannot believe how hard it really was, and was trying to think about how she got through it!

As she and Anna spoke about their transition they echoed my life right now and what I am going through and how people are responding to me in this time. It was such a relief to know I am not the only one, to know that this is quite normal!!

So…I am ok! Even if I am not ok! I will get through, and even better than “getting through” I will see God holding me, I will rest in Christ in me!!! It will get better, I will see light, I will see joy, I will!

What a blessing that was!

I also got to talk with many other women, one being a single missionary that has been in missions for over 10 years in Poland. Susan is nothing short of a true inspiration! She taught me about expectation of people, being the nationals, being people back home, being supporters, and how we will never make everyone happy with how we serve the Lord! We talked about money, and ministry, about being single and about living the “long term”. It was a much needed, much appreciated time! Thanks you Susan!!

And with all this wonderfulness, I got to see ROME!!! Here are the pictures! It was amazing! And to think about Jesus, the creator of the mind that created all of this!!! WOW!!!

(click the picture to see more pictures)

So now I am back and ready to take on LIFE!!!! Whatever that may hold!

Comment me, email me, or call me!!!! I want to share more!!!! (If you want to hear it!)

Leaving for ROME!!!

Tomorrow I will pack up and leave bright and early on Monday morning for a week of renewal and time with my Jesus, and lucky me, it happens to be that the place I will be going to do this is, none other than one of the most beautiful places in the world, Rome!

I will be joining the other women from Josiah Venture for the annual Women’s Retreat and enjoying the community of women who have been doing this for way longer than I have, and pulling from anyone I can, getting wisdom, encouragement, advice, and just down right fellowship!!! It will be good!

I promise to take lots and lots of pictures!

Summer is around the corner!!!!

I just got back today from checking out Kuldiga, a town where we will have a camp this summer. It is very exciting because this will be the first camp done in that town and the church we will be helping ut on the camp has an amazing “youth guy” and a group of kids ready to lead!!! This is HUGE!!! And so exciting!

It gets me quite pumped for it all. I am soo ready to get back into the summer ministry! It just hold a totally different energy and spirit. And fits my heart for students and meeting them where Jesus can get a hold of them!! Ahhh I cannot wait!

Please, if you think about it, just pray for the preparation time going into this summer. We have many things going on and a lot of different realm of people coming together for ministry. Pray that God will orchestrate it and we will be ready to play!!! Yes, this is exciting!

These pictures were taken at "Europe's widest waterfall" in Kuldiga

(It was -20 degrees out, yeah I know, Where is my jacket! what was I thinking!)

Good Monday to all!

I had a wonderful weekend with “my girls”. I spent most of Thursday and Friday morning in turmoil over what to do… go to the orphanage or go to Liepaja to visit one of the 4 sisters from the orphanage (she has been adopted).
She is the youngest of the four and I have not seen her in a while and it is very important for me to let her know that my love for her is still as strong even though I do not get to see her as much as the others.
yet, my heart was torn because of the expectation of the orphanage and the kids there. I did not want to disappoint anyone, yet I was faced with a “catch 22”, and as I sit miserably trying to figure out who I could handle disappointing more, my Jesus spoke to my heart and told me so beautifully that it is HIM who I need to look to, it is HIS approval that matters, and that HE approves! (before I made any decision he already approved of me and who I am!)

so i decided to do what i felt i was being called to do no matter the response, and it was a HUGE blessing to be with Ieva, my little sister. It was a perrrfect weekend with her!


** BIG SIGH


I Love my Lord so much, and I am taken back by his love for me and how he meets me in my mess daily! What a God we serve!


OK, so now I have to go work on my Monthly update letter…** another big sigh….

Take 5 min and... SHOW UP & SHUT UP!

Listen to your Jesus for a minute…

“And he whispers, ‘Now is the time! The unreal world of glanost and Gucci. Hagen-Dazs ice cream and Calvin Klein jeans, beaver vest, Persian rugs, silk underwear, and the Super Bowl is passing away. NOW is the time to stop running around frantically like Lancelot’s horse in four directions at once and QUIETLY remember that only one thing is necessary. NOW is the time for personal decision and creative response to MY Word. (114)


“has it crossed your mind that I am proud you accepted the gift of faith I offered you? Proud that you freely chose Me, after I had chosen you, as your friend and Lord? Proud that with all your warts and wrinkles, you haven’t given up? Proud that you believe in me enough to try again and again? Are you aware that I appreciate you for wanting Me? I want you to know how grateful I am when you pause to smile and comfort a child who has lost her way. I am grateful for the hours you devote to learning more about Me; for the word of encouragement you passed on to your burnt-out pastor; for your visit to the shut-in; for your tears for the retarded. What you did to them, you did to Me. Alas, I am sad when you do not believe that I have totally forgiven you or you feel uncomfortable when approaching Me.” (154)
(Ragamuffin Gospel, Brennen Manning)



This is a much different Jesus than I perceive most of the day, but refreshing, exciting, and motivating me more and more toward being SEIZED BY THE POWER OF A GREAT AFFECTION!

Back again....Gone again.....Back again......Gone a......

So here I am off for the weekend again! I will be back on Sunday evening. Then I have four days and then I leave again for the weekend. We will be meeting churches that we will be working with this summer at the camps. I will be back from that on Sunday And then… I leave AGAIN on Monday for 6 days!!!
I will be attending the annual Women’s retreat for Josiah Venture. I am dreading it, and cant wait for it in he same breath! But it will be good to just soak up time with seasoned women of God and pull from their time on the field.

All that to say I will be quite busy in the next coming weeks and I hope to find time to write and update, but just so you know what is happening!

I am deeply sorry to anyone who feels like I am not communicating well enough. I am finding the pull between doing ministry and sharing what is happening with it all very difficult these days. But if you do feel neglected by my lack of communication, I am truly sorry. I will try to do better.

Back from Sweden

I arrived “home” yesterday afternoon from an amazing trip to Sweden. I had a great time visiting the school that meant so much to me, and visiting people that I hold as close as family! It was a perfect time of rest, relaxation, refreshment, and lots of fun too!


This was when we decided to go sledding behind the van! ( max speed was 55km!) Crazy but sooo fun!!!


This was the night of WaterPoker!
Rules:
If you loose a hand you drink the water that was bet in that round
you loose the game if:
1. you get up
2. you throw up
3. you pee your pants!
4. all of the above :)
Daniel peed his pants!!!!! haha!


Chillin' in the Bik (a little hang out spot at the school)



I am so blessed to be able to go to a place like that with such ease. It is an amazing thing to live in Europe that’s for sure! Just hope on a plane, train, or ferry and you can get almost anywhere in Europe fast and cheap!

We spent 4 full days in Holsbybrunn, and had a blast. I did everything from playing in the snow, to gong on many walks, to visiting my dearest friend Coral and her beautiful family, to praying lots, to spending time with my Jesus, and a major part of what I did there was reflection…

Reflection on the past 4 months of my life and what God has done, what he is doing, what I am doing and how it fits with what God has called me here to do. There have been times I have already felt overwhelmed by the need here, and have started to doubt myself and the calling on my heart. i guess I was in the starting stages of “burn out”… I don’t now, I just knew I needed something, or something needed to change.

While at Holsby, I was refreshed by the heart of Matt and Coral and how they serve Christ with their lives. They have been missionaries in Sweden for many years and to watch them live out Jesus just inspired me beyond anything I could have asked for! It was beautiful to watch their surrender to Christ in every part of their life!
Thank you Coral and Matt for being examples to me, and inspiring me to press on with JOY!

Also I found out something and I am sure I will talk about this more, but I just realized something during this trip that may surprise you or may not, but I did not know this until I searched for it!

God WILL give me more than I can handle! He is in the business of giving me too much on purpose! You know it is funny because my whole Christian walk I have trusted that he will never give me more than I can handle, but I am just now realizing that that is not true and if anything is true it is the opposite! He will give me way more than I can handle so I can grow by doing three things with “the more than I can handle”

1. it will teach me to prioritize and learn how to put some things down, give
some thing up, no matter how good they are.

2. I will learn to lean on the body of Christ, my family, and hand off some of
the things that are “too much” so the body can work together.

3. I will learn to go to my source of strength and power; JESUS! For his power
is made perfect in my weakness!

So I say with expectation and excitement, I am ready for the next… whatever that is, and I hope it is more than I can handle! I want to see Jesus at work, not Jaycee !

Thank you to my three Latvian friends, Agnese, Anna, and Baiba, who made this trip so special!!!