I am still in the same position I was last time with apartment searching…which is very discouraging, yet there is a peace that I did not have last time I write on this subject. Which mean someone must be praying for that ;) thanks!
Every morning I take my hour travel into to town for work, I ride a bus for about 30 minutes and then a tram for another 20 and then walk for about 10. I swear I pass about 1000 apartment buildings and I just sit/stand (depending on how full the bus and tram are!) in complete amazement that is it so difficult to find an apartment! How can it be? Well a couple of factors make it a bit difficult.
1. I will have a roommate, which means I will need to rent an apartment with more than one bedroom. And when you look at apartments here when it says 2 rooms that means a bedroom and a living room, which is quite normal for Latvian to live in. they have no problem sleeping in (what we would call) the living room. And honestly that still would not be an issue for Lelde (my future roommate and co-worker) and I, but because of the type of ministry we are in (youth work) we will need to have that living room free for a meeting area. So if we are out and want to come home and invite others over for tea, or a movie, or just hanging out we can have the freedom to do so…So that means we need to rent a “3 room” apartment. Which is not so common in Latvia.
2. Because of the first reason it causes the price to rent to raise considerably, but we have a budget of about 250ls, which translates to about $500. This seems like it would be enough, yet Latvia for some reason is getting SO expensive! To give an example of what most apartments we have seen so far for that amount look like:
But there are some good ones too… I have faith it will work out!!!3. Because we will be working mostly in the center of Riga, that again raises the price, and there are many people who also are looking for apartments in this location because it is very central to everything. So the demand is huge! Which means we spend a lot of time calling and then just getting shut down because the apartments have already been taken. (Especially the good ones!)
So that’s a little bit about the struggle of the apartment search! Not only is it hard to find one, it is also hard to be here in Latvia, knowing I am here, but feeling like I am just visiting since I have been living out of bags, eating other peoples food, sleeping in someone else’s home, etc.
If you can just pray that I would engage even in the midst of that feeling? I was talking with one of my dear friends about life last night and she was talking about school and struggles with just not feeling like life is worth anything right now. And I was encouraged to know that no matter where we are, school, work, home, America, Latvia, your own place, or someone else’s, we are not here for “us” we are here for him! At that moment I realized the more I concentrate on “me” in this place, I will get down and depressed, feeling sorry for myself, hating life! But the moment I look at “me in Him-and Him in me” it changes everything! I can live in the struggle, in the pain, in the frustration, knowing it is not about me in Latvia, it is about
HIM IN LATVIA,
and he has got me here to use me for HIS purpose!! Wow, I am not worthy, but I feel blessed to be chosen to do it for him! May I surrender continually to him!So this weekend I will be gone. I will be going to my first experience with “School of Leaders” which is one of our main ministries that happens during the “non-summer” ministry. I am not too sure what to expect, but I will tell you how it goes! Check out this link for more on this:
http://jvlatvia.com/index.html
Thanks for reading, thanks for showing your support and love! I would love to hear from you! Whether that is through a comment, or e-mail!! I wanna see pictures too!!! I miss you all!
1 comment:
It was crazy to read what you were writing about how the more you focus on yourself the more discouraged you will get because that is what God has inspired me to preach about this sunday. it is crazy that i am preaching at all but i thought i would just include my notes thus far, it isn't organized or anything but it might be interesting for you to read. Okay then sister. keep rocking hard for Jesus!!!
-Daniel (Seidel variety)
ps: my sermon thing is below this
John 10: 10B I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
John 10: 11 I am the good shepherd who lays down his life for the sheep.
1 Cor 13: 4 Love is patient, love is kind. GOD IS LOVE
Matt 7:9-10 How much more will your Father in heaven give to those who ask Him.
God the Father
When the idea for what I was going to talk about came to me it felt kind of odd because I felt like last week Peter really talked a lot about our depravity, or in other words our brokenness. And it kind of felt wrong because it seemed like what was in my head was going against all that he talked about but as I thought about it I realized that both of these things are truth at the same time even though they seem sort of uncompatible. But all that to say my whole goal this morning is to bring you truth. It isn’t something I discovered or studied a ton it is just truth.
God is our Father. Period. Truth. And for all of us that picture of Him will be somewhat skewed because we all have had earthly fathers who helped bring us into being. Some of our fathers were better than others at being a good reflection of our true father but regardless they all, every single one, had shortcomings and were not perfect true representations of God the Father. But what I want to talk about this morning is God as our perfect Father and so I want us all to set aside everything we know and everything that comes to mind when we hear the word father. We don’t need to throw that stuff out the window, but for now we are going to set it aside so that this truth can really settle in, the truth of our one true Father.
So I guess I will start with a summary of some of the things Peter talked about. We are nothing. We are completely incapable of living this life and because of that Christ has given us the opportunity to let him do that for us. And so we need to see our brokenness in order to really let Him do His work in and through our lives. That is truth. We are in complete desperation and there is nothing in ourselves that can help to save us. It is only in His work reaching down to us that we are saved. I know this and I can see it in me, BUT I am here today because I know that there is a big risk in how we respond to this truth.
For a long time in my life this truth of my depravity was the biggest truth in my life. It was so clear to me that I was completely incapable of doing any good or accomplishing anything for His kingdom. But in recognizing this truth I became overwhelmed with it and I felt as though I should keep this truth in the forefront of my vision. And so when I would come before God to pray or to worship I would always have that as my focus. And it was a huge hinderance. That sounds weird. That to focus on the truth was a hinderance to my relationship with Christ but it was. It left me in discouragement and oppression, I was totally weighed down by my sin and my weakness. And I think this is a fairly common thing for us as followers of Christ. We recognize the truth that we are broken and needy and depraved and we get hung up on it and we keep that as our main focus and it hinders us. So what to do? Do we throw it out? Do we get rid of that truth? No! of course not it is truth so we have to hold on to it. But then what to do if we don’t get rid of it? Focus on a more important truth. And don’t get me wrong I don’t want to bring up a discussion on whther some things are more true than others that would be a waste of time but I do believe for sure that what I will say next is more important than what I have been talking about up till now.
God is love.
It says in 1 John 4:16
And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love.
Truth. Period. Amen? God is love. Can I get an amen? We know this. I don’t think this is new to anyone here. Jesus loves us obviously. But are we really responding to this truth? Are we really living in this truth? Do we really know and rely on the love God has for us? This isn’t a new truth for me. And I was fully aware of this truth when I was in that time of discouragement. I knew the truth that God is love. I knew that He loved me. But I didn’t KNOW it. My reality was that I was a piece of garbage, oh and also God loved me. But that is so backwards. GOD IS LOVE! That should be our focus. That should be the center. You know the song Jesus be the center. That needs to be true in our lives. But at that time I was letting other things be the center.
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