DONE!...what now?

I am done! It is over! And I am having mixed feelings. I am happy to be done and ready to head off to start the rest of this journey, yet being at a place like this for 5 weeks has really impacted my life! Having missionaries from all over the States and Canada, going to places all over the world, gave me for the first time, a sense of belonging! Weird, I know, but these people became family. It was so nice to have this community and hear all of the amazing passions that God has given these people! I am just in Awe of Gods heart for the world! Neat Stuff!

So that’s it…done with training!

Today I will be going back to the Kolb’s to spend the holiday weekend with them and my whole family!!!! (They don’t know I am coming, so it will be a fun surprise… not only that this will be the last time I will see my Sisters kids, my two little joys, for a very long time) I will be staying there until July 5th then I head back to Arizona for a week then head to Latvia with the high school youth group for a short-term trip to Latvia for two weeks. Then it is home for the rest of support raising!!!

So Thanks for checking in and I pray that all of you will have a great 4th Of July!!!


Lots of love!

4 weeks down...1 to go!

I have been pretty bad at this lately …I am really sorry!

This class is amazing! I have learned so much about learning a new language; I would have been completely sunk if I had not been made aware of all of this! My mind is so tired though.. I am ready to go! I have been here for four weeks and I am now on my last week here. Five weeks of training is enough for me! But it has been amazing to say the least!

It is Monday and I just spent the weekend with my best friend, and her family. And I got to see Marcia also! (Trisha’s beautiful mom) it was so good to see her and spend time with them all. Tade seems to be getting bigger by the second! I will leave you with one more picture of the cutie pie, and then on of Avery their daughter posing for the camera… what a little poser!










Oh Oh OH! I almost for got to tell you the coolest news of the language training so far…
I CAN (or at least I think I can) ROLL MY “R’s”!!!
Now if you have known me for a while I am sure you know how BIG this is!!!
Whoo hoo…be happy with me! It is a joyous day!

Monday - Thursday

Well there is not much to talk about concerning this part of training…
This is Thursday morning, and well I have learned a lot, yet I feel like I cannot give adequate information on what I have learned so far.
I have realized some things that are pretty amazing…like the fact that the English language has approximately 44 sounds that our mouths, tongues, and lips are used to saying, yet there are thousands of sounds from all over the world!
Needless to say I have some adjusting to do if I am going to speak another language without sounding like a fumbling fool!!!
Oh how exciting!
Yet this training is doing just that, and I am so blessed to have the opportunity to start understanding language and sounds in a way that will be a benefit on the field! So it is good, it’s allll goooood!

(it is almost the weeeeekend! whooo hooo!!!!)

Here we go again!!!

I am back for another week of training! This week we start our Language training. Yet I will not be learning any Latvian. What’s the point, you may ask (as I did). Well, this training is not language specific, it is more language acquisition techniques that will be universal for any language. It is more like a preparation time for the actual language learning we will be entering into on the field.

I myself, where I sit, if I am honest, it feels a bit like a waist of time. (Sorry MTI) Yet this is being said without one day of classes yet! So we will see! I am here, so I will take advantage of every possible tool to help me transition.

I will keep you updated!

I am sure you will enjoy me eating my words, as I am sure I will eat them!!!

On another note! I spent the weekend with my LONG TIME best friend, Trish Nave (Reddin, whatever!) ad she just had her baby boy on June 9th! So it was just a great time of spending time with the Family!




Check out my web site for more pictures! http://www.Jayceeleighjensen.com

Thanks for taking the time to check in with me! It means a lot!

reality of it all

I am tired. I am sad.

We talked about goodbyes today, and I am overwhelmed at the loss that accompanies this move toward missions.

I don’t want to go.

I want to go.

I am torn. I am sad.

I love you all. And do not want to say goodbye…at all!

I am Sorry...

I realized some things for the first time today about being a missionary, and I think that I need to apologize to everyone who I love and who has invested interest into what I am doing. (And since you are reading this, I can guarantee that I owe you an apology also)

When I decided to be a missionary it was my decision. I was willing to give up the things of this world to follow Christ into other parts of the world to be his hand and feet…yet, through this decision I have in turn made a decision for you also! A decision that you had no part of, yet are affected by! Wow!

Whether you are family, friends, co-workers, kids I mentor, prayer supporters, financial supporters, or my church community, you are invested in this! I am sorry that this is the first time that this has come to full realization on my part. Don’t get me wrong. I always have felt that you all are a HUGE part of what God is doing in this. I just never thought about the personal side of it!
Me choosing to go on the mission field, also forces you to accept that. Yes, I may be ok with the trails, the tribulation, the possible danger, or suffering, but did I think about you? Did I think about what you may feel about all of that? Not so much! And for that I am deeply sorry.

I don’t know if we really ever think fully about the ramifications of our choices. But I have found myself in a place that seems a bit uncomfortable. Knowing that you are invested in me. Invested financially, spiritually, emotionally!! Oh, my heart cries out to God, that he would give me all that I need to honor you for investing in this! Thank you for your amazing support! I am speechless.

This may not make much sense, but it does in my heart. And please know that you are valued and loved by me, and I am more than blessed to have you in my life and to be such a HUGE part of what our God is doing in Latvia!

Be blessed today and always my friends, my family!

A day of REST??? nah!!

A Much needed day of…Rest? Well maybe not rest in a “not doing anything” kind of way…but rest from the intenseness of the training for the past two weeks!
So I went White water rafting for the first time ever!!! So much fun!!! Everyone needs to do this at least once in his or her life!
I will let the pictures speak for themselves! Check them out.. Go to:

http://jayceeleighjensen.com/MTI.html

So tomorrow I will go to church, and then Monday starts the last week of cultural training and then it is time to dive into language training for the next two week! Oooh goodie!
Miss you all. God is good!

Takin' Hostage today...what did you do??

So pretty crazy day today. Yes I know I say that almost everyday, but today was the most intense day so far. We came in the classroom this morning and there was a sense of tension already present right from the start. Robin, the facilitator of the training here got up and read an e-mail from a missionary couple that was previous missionaries that came through this same program. Their e – mail stated a tragedy that has just happened during a hike up a mountain. Long story short, they were mugged the husband beaten and the wife raped and beaten. Right after that Robin gave us specific instructions and we when right into a real life scenario where we were in the middle of a rebel war and we were hiding in an attic (this being in the basement of the training facility, in a cardboard boxed in room about 8 by 8, and about 5 feet tall. This with about 15 people in this scenario. It was hot, dark, and very cramped. There was loud noise of machine guns, bombs, sirens, then every once in a while the rebels would make patrols of the area, and we would have to be completely silent. During this time there were opportunities for a small number of people to be evacuated. We had to figure out who should go and who should stay. There was a proposition of two more missionaries and three nationals needing somewhere to hide, with not being sure if the nationals could be trusted since no one knew them, and the issue of food, and space, and our own safety. Then we heard the evacuation fell through and now the rebels had decided that they were going to execute two of us so they would get the attention of the US to send ransom money. We had to decide who would be executed. 4 people volunteered, myself being one of them due to the fact o was single and had no significant other. Only two were to go so we picked numbers between one and one hundred. I was not chosen. There was one other single girl, and own husband that were chosen. When they came to get the two the leader of our group surprisingly was resistant and when they asked for the two he kept saying “we are on, we are one” they grabbed him and took him out and we heard LOUD gunshots. They killed him. Then they came for the other two, they grabbed them and then… more gunshots.
This is when I lost it. Then the scenario was over.
This lasted for about 45 minutes. It was highly emotional and I did not realize the thoughts that were possible in the “after shock” of this experience.

But so much about this was good! I am glad I could experience this. It was needed. It was hard and I am sill processing much of this. But I have been blessed to have this brought into reality for me, and realize some of the reactions that I had during and after it that has helped me “learn me” a bit more.

All I could do at the end of this was pray. Pray that the Lord would prepare my heart further for me to be prepared in any season to handle this. And by handle I mean be honoring to Him, to not question his ability to protect, or to question why, but embrace Him and look to him for strength, wisdom, and comfort. This is my prayer!

Crazy day. I know I did not express my feelings well or explain all that happened, but I am having a hard time figuring it all out myself right now.

Can you please pray that the Lord speaks to me and I take all that he is trying to show me through this?

Thank you family! I love you and miss you all more today. I am blessed to be Alive, and serving my Lord so freely! May we try not to take that for granted!

CoNfLiCt!!!!

So I missed yesterday, and quite honestly the way I feel and how much information and thinking I have done in the past two days, I feel like missing today’s entry as well. But I won’t for your sake!

So our topic for the past two days has been conflict! Yes! Such a comfortable subject isn’t it! Well it has been very insightful, yet I am feeling very very tired from the thought process involved in such a complex issue. I had no idea how many types; styles, personalities, and issues are involved in distinguishing between healthy conflict and unhealthy conflict!

Do you know that 80% of missionaries do not return to the same field of service because of conflict? No, not with the Nationals, but with none other than their other teammates, fellow Missionaries from the same culture!!! Wow! This brings yet another aspect of missions that really had not played out in my mind until now!

So that is what I have been learning and working through the past few days.

On another note, IT’S MY BIRTHDAY! Yes, I am yet one year older and well I am feeling pretty ok with it. I turned 26 and feeling a bit odd, yet happy and more content than I thought I would at this age! God is good, and I am looking so forward to my future with him in whatever endeavors he brings me to! So be happy with me!

I LOVE YOU ALL! Thanks for reading.

Round #2

So I am back from a wonderful weekend with the Kolb’s! It was a very nice break in the midst of the intense training of the past week. Now here I am back at the Training Center, ready to take on another week! Pray for me! This training is not exactly what I expected, and I mean that in a positive way for the most part. But it is stretching me to say the least.

So all is well with me. I think I am getting over an ear infection though. Praise God it is getting better! Oh yeah, for all my dear friends and family in Arizona…
I checked out the weather there and man you guys have it rough. I think the high here today was 85 degrees! I don’t think I should say that out loud…sorry! Well stay cool, and I will think of you all when I have to put on a sweatshirt to go outside in the evening! ;)

ok I am dine bragging! I know you all hate me now. I will go!

Do I really want to do this?????

Well today was hard, and very challenging. We were blessed to be able to hear many stories of missionaries on the field. Yet they were hard stories. Sad stories. Stories that hit home. That brought this journey into uncomfortable reality for me. I am definitely in a place of uncertainty right now. Thinking to myself, what if this happens to me? What if I am challenged in these ways? Will I make it? And by make it I mean, will I be used by God and not faulter and question his faithfulness and goodness in the midst of the struggle, in the midst of the fear. Yeah. It was a hard day!

Tomorrow is Friday and I will be leaving to go visit the Kolb’s (close friends that may as well be family) for the weekend. So I probably will not be updating this until Sunday night. (Just in case you care)

Thanks for reading, thanks for loving!

May 31st 2006...first day of training.

Well it was long day. I am tired and ready for bed. But it was cool too. We talked about cultural differences and value systems and the difference between them here and in other cultures. For example the speaker pulled two women up front and then told them he was going to ask a question, and all they need to do is answer it....
He then asked them " how much do you weigh?" ... oh man, that is just a bad question, well it got the ball rolling on how we can offend and be offended and it went deep and it was really uncomfortable at times...but good none the less. Then we did some role-play and evaluation of situation that we may encounter. So all in all a very good day of insight I would say!

Another step in this LONG Journey!

Well here I am in Colorado for the next 5 weeks. I am here for training. Multi cultural training and language acquisition training. Highly exciting... I know! But so far it looks like it will be a great time!
I arrived today at noon, and we start tomorrow with the training. I will let you know more as it occurs.
Personally I am struggling right now. Just with being here when I feel I should be there!!! I am in my Jesus’ arms, this I know. But I am feeling anxious. Please pray for my focus to be where I am instead of where I “feel” I should be! Thank you my family! I will update you when I can!

Hurting Inside

So this week has been very interesting for me! I have been experiencing a feeling that I have yet to feel unlit now. I feel a pain in my heart. A pain that hits hard every time I think about leaving. I feel like my heart is screaming, “stays here Jaycee!” But why? Why would that be even happening now? I have no doubt in my mind, heart, and soul that being a missionary is what Jesus has called me to be. I have no hesitation with following that because I am so sure…but the pain is still there!

I think about life when I have returned home from being away in the past and it makes my stomach turn. I can’t even tell you the feeling of disconnect that happens when I return from a time away from “home”.
The feeling that I have been forgotten. No, not forgotten as Jaycee, but forgotten as a part of “life” as we all know it to be happening!

I know this is unrealistic and absurd, I can’t help but think “life” here and now, the minute I leave, in some way pauses, stops, and waits for my return!

I expect my Nieces and Nephews to stay the same size, saying the same cute things, running into my arms when they see me saying “Aunt CECE!”
I expect my parents to look the same way.
I expect my dearest friends that I have turned to in times of need to still be so accessible and willing to drop every thing to be my friend.
I expect that all my friends will not make any new friends that I don’t know.
I expect my beautiful 8th grade girls that I mentor to stay in 8th grade dealing with the same issues, and me still having the honor of sharing life with them.
I expect all to stay the same and wait for me to return so we can get on with life again!

Man just writing that makes me laugh at the insanity of the thought, yet at the same time cry because I know.
I know all those expectations are not only unrealistic, the opposite of my expectation is reality! All of that will inevitably happen in my absence! And it hurts! It hurts so bad that my heart has been heavy and just plain different than ever before.

Something big is changing in my life, but it is transforming me spiritually as well!
I am leaving “home” as I know it. To go to a “home” that is unknown.
That is what has been hitting me at the core of my soul…
”HOME”
What is that? I am learning quickly that I really will never have a “home” if I make this move into the mission field. But something that I did not realize is that I am already home! I am home now as I sit in this country, state, and even house I grew up in, but I will be just as much at home in Latvia, in a City that I only know at a glimpse, and an apartment that…well, who knows! But I will be home. Even if I find myself in Africa, or the Middle East, or the moon, I will be home!

It is not about the place, it’s about the person!

I am at Home because Jesus lives in me, and more than that I LIVE IN JESUS! He is my home!
Wherever I go is where I want to be because He is there!

So getting back to the point of me spitting all this to you…the pain I am feeling has been good, and will be good! Something that I want to share with you really quick that just hit my heart when I read it…

He who goes out weeping,
carrying a seed to sow,
will return with songs of joy,
carrying sheaves with him.
Psalm 126:6

I am encouraged tonight as I write this! Yes I am still hurting, and will for some time. But I know that I have seeds to sow…and look forward to the joyful return, whenever that is wherever that is! All that matters is that it is IN JESUS that I go…and return!

Thanks for reading my random thoughts!

HURRY UP!!!.....and wait.

How do I even begin to express in word what I feel right now?!

I am here, in mesa Arizona, waiting….waiting for a miracle that I know is going to happen. Raising financial support is probably one of the most interesting, confusing, humbling, and awkward feeling I have yet to have in life!

Why can’t I just earn the money? It would be much easier! Ah, there I go, much easier, right! Easier to rely on my own ability than to rely on the uncertain timing of My Jesus’ provision! Oh, I have so much to learn, so many areas to grow! Can you pray for that?

So here I am with my first update.
I sent out my letters for supporters about two weeks ago, now it is time to wait to see what is in the plans of this crazy plan!

Something big mixed things up this past week. I have set a date! I am actually putting in on the line and going for it! To explain a bit… I have wrestled with God this past month and it has been very disorienting in so many ways, yet this time in the desert brought me to where I am right now. I have had many people come up to me in the past few months asking me when exactly will I be going to Latvia. I would always respond by saying, “well, I am not too sure, but I am hoping for the middle of July sometime, but that all depends on when God provides the means of getting there, so it could be July, or maybe 6 months, maybe 2 years, it is jus in Gods hands.” and yet this seems like a good stance, a good way of showing that I am willing to follow His plan, something really weird would happen when I would say it…every time! It was almost like I was not trusting God by saying it. This is hard to explain. But it is like when I would say July it seems unattainable, and almost irresponsible just because it is so close with such a large amount of money to raise, so then I would say 6 months and then all of a sudden I felt like I could trust God more with that statement, then even more when it came to saying two years!
Then it hit me I was not trusting him more with the longer time of raising money, I was doing exactly the opposite! I was putting more trust in the circumstances of this world and less in God with every statement of a further date. Of coarse god could provide the money anytime he wanted to, but in my feeble mind July was a Big step of faith, actually impossible if I am honest. Six months was definitely more attainable, just send out more letters, talk to more people, yeah it could happen in six months! Oh and two years, no doubt I would be gone before that! But it sounded so good, you know, to be so willing to stick it out and wait on the Lord!

COME ON JAYCEEE!!!! You are called to Latvia for cripes sake!

Funny thing is that something happened about a week ago that has put quite a spin on this whole thing. I was out having coffee with one of the high school students in the youth ministry at Red Mountain Community Church and we were discussing a lot of different things, mostly to do with missions and Gods unknown plan for our life’s and how we all just seem to want to something extraordinary in this life.
The subject of coarse aroused about Latvia. Ashleigh, the young lady I was meeting with mentioned that she was going with the high school group from RMCC to Latvia this summer and was SO excited. I asked here when she is planning on leaving and she said the middle of July. “Whoa, cool!” I said. Cause well that is when I am hoping to leave for Latvia myself…(God providing of coarse!)

“God Providing”

That was the key! It was like I was punched in the face! Jesus just spoke to my heart and convicted me to the core. He spoke and in my heart he asked me why am I such a chicken? Why don’t you just set a date and watch me provide?

Set a date and watch him provide? When I heard that in my heart, something exploded inside of me and my heart was racing and I got so excited/nervous at the same time and I knew it was Jesus speaking to my heart, I knew this was what he wanted!

All this being said, during my talk with Ashleigh she mentioned a need for a female adult leader…wait… “you need a leader, and I am planning on going at the same time, to the same place?” hold up! Jesus is up to something!

So I am going! I have set a date, and now I am going to watch him provide! And now I am going to lead a group of amazing student to the place I love and the people who Jesus’ heart inside me has fallen in love with!!!! Wow!

Isn’t our Jesus the coolest?!! Yeah!